Posts Tagged ‘politics’

Fear what? What exactly am I supposed to be afraid of? You’re wicked mullet? Sleeveless shirt? Or should I quiver in fear at the mere thought of getting close enough to count all the teeth missing from your mouth? You must have seen these douche bags at some point – sporting a “Fear This!” sticker firmly affixed to their bumper that is sure to be hanging on for dear life to the other end of a bungee cord. If you get close you might be lucky enough to catch some shrapnel off the backfire from their pickup truck. It also always seems that these country bumpkins are the same guys who still think the Confederates won the Civil War. The “Fear This” sticker is generally accompanied by a “The South Will Rise Again!” sticker which is then usually flanked by some form of NRA propaganda. Oh, I’m sorry – “Guns don’t kill people”, how could I have been so absent-minded? In that case, the next time I misspell a word I’m going to blame it on the pen. It’s not really their fault though, I’d probably be under the impression that the South won if I couldn’t read too.

“But the second amendment gives us the right!” – shut up. I reserve the right to piss in my cereal every morning but I don’t because it’s self-defeating. I have a feeling that the type of guy who owns a “Fear This” sticker isn’t a gun owner because he needs to bear arms, he owns a gun because he’s scared out of his mind. The only reason why Billy Bob even knows about the second amendment anyway is because it was probably in George Bush’s last pop-up book. I’m not against bearing arms in general, I’m just against complete and utter morons bearing arms. In my experience a “Fear This!” sticker is a dead giveaway of (b)latent insecurity and idiocy; and in my opinion an insecure, scared, hostile idiot is the last person I want to be around, especially if they’re touting a weapon. So the next time I pull up beside some jackass with his “Fear This!” sticker firmly adhered to his truck I’ll yell out a few 4 syllable words and laugh as his brain shuts down while trying to process them, that should buy me enough time to get out of his way.

Don’t fear this – send it to somebody
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