The sticker means “I’m a douchebag”

Posted: June 11, 2010 in Whatever
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

When the hell did this become an actual thing? I’m still trying to convince myself that this isn’t something that is really happening. I feel like, over night, every moron who listens to Jay-Z went out and bought one of these ridiculous hats simply to point out to the rest of us that they suck at life. You know how people who smell bad can’t ever smell themselves? These poor idiots don’t realize just how god damn stupid they look. I don’t get it, they actually put on this hat, look at themselves in the mirror and say, “Yup, good to go.”

I don’t know what I hate more, the flat brim, the fact that they’re 2 sizes too big, when they’re worn crooked or the giant flaming sticker that’s left on them. It’s a blessing in disguise, though, because that huge sticker can reflect the sunlight – acting as a shimmering signal to easily spot these asshats so we can avoid them. Do I have a good reason to hate these dumbass hats so much? Not really, but religion doesn’t have good reasons to spur hate and it compelled men to fly airplanes into the twin towers (just sayin’). They look like complete assholes, and some of these jerkoffs even leave the tags on. Yeah, no shit! I wish I was kidding.

"Straight cash homey!"

This should have been the redneck millionaire’s first purchase.

Still don’t hate these flagrant displays of douchebaggery? How about this:

I knew you’d see it my way.

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Comments
  1. barbsobel says:

    note to self: buy Nick an XXL baseball cap w/ sticker & tags for Xmess. Word, yo.

  2. barbsobel says:

    are you telling me you’ve got 99 problems but that hat ain’t one of ’em?

  3. […] be more true here. They really believe, in their heart of hearts, that they look cool (the same way these assholes do). All of these trends are just an example of what happens when enough people are willing to look […]

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