Your big fat mistake

Posted: May 18, 2010 in Whatever
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I’m watching Nightline right now and am being sternly reminded why I normally don’t. Tonight’s episode includes stories about 2 children, 4 and 7 years old, who are both terribly obese (What perfect timing, right after my last post). Anyway, after showing video of these kids jamming pie and cookies into their giant faces while their assbag parents look on and smile, in walks the “expert” on how to alleviate this problem. Here comes Dr. Dickface, touting his PHD in Blatantly Obvious and a certification in Taking your money for teaching you how to do shit you should already know how to do because you’re a fucking adult. The master plan that Dr. Dildo came up with? A traffic light system. Green = good food, Yellow = decent food, Red = the food that made you the way you are now. Wait a minute, do you mean to tell me that all these years I shouldn’t have been eating a breakfast of fried Snickers wrapped in bacon and dipped in lard? Damn it! Why didn’t somebody tell me?! I had the remote cocked back (hehe – “cocked”) and ready to hurl at the TV when the host posed the viewers a question. He said something to the effect of, “How do you teach a 4 year-old how to eat right and correct his/her bad habits?” With clenched fists I screamed, “YOU DON’T! Be a fucking parent and pack them a turkey sandwich instead of their regular triple decker peanut butter and chocolate cake sandwich. Feed them a healthy breakfast, feed them a sensible lunch, and cook them a dinner that won’t leave them wheezing after tying their shoes.

One of the mothers said in her interview, “He got so used to eating mac and cheese for dinner every night because that’s all we ever ate.” At what point did you look across the table as tiny buried his face into the bowl and think, “Gee, this might be a bad idea.” ? You stupid, deserving, jackass – I hope he throws tantrums. I hope that every time he rolls around and kicks his feet while crying for cheese you are reminded of what a complete ass hat you are.

While shaking with rage, Dr. Dumbshit made another appearance with something just as useless and aggravating to say as the host did earlier. “If it’s difficult for an adult to lose weight, how difficult must it be for a child?” It’s not difficult for a child to change their habits because it’s their parents job to do that for them! It’s your job to feed your kids, so chances are if they get a twinkie and a bag of M&Ms for lunch every day they’re going to be massive mounds of motorized cart shit in the very near future. Don’t blame a 4 year-old, and stop thinking that a kid who can barely read should have to start rationally changing their eating habits. You are the enabler, be a god damn parent. The next time Junior McFattyPants waddles in and passes out with powdered sugar all over his face – contemplate buying some celery sticks because you’re ruining his life.

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  1. Nicole Levin says:

    Thank you for your perspective. I JUST had this discussion with my best friend
    last night. I have to watch what I say in case she reads this(I told her to check out the site).Kids get into this habit of asscociating food with entertainment and the parents don’t correct it. In fact, the parents get so pissed off or annoyed that they throw money at the kids and tell them to “go to Burger King and just leave me alone!”. Parents give up and give in way too damn easily!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Nikki says:

    I disagree that a parent gives up. Today’s parent’s depend on McDonald’s and Burger King to feed their child. Today’s parent’s are extremely lazy when it comes to raising their child. As a parent and a grandmother, I never considered cereal as a breakfast. Breakfast should start out with a pan and their lazy ass at a stove. It amazes me how women want to become Mom’s but don’t realize the discipline with raising them. Now a day’s a child is a warm tax deduction for a wide screen tv or a new car. Parent’s use the excuse they are tired from working all day and then having to come home and take care of a family. Material possession’s are more important in a household and keeping up with the Jone’s is even more important than cooking a healthy dinner. I love the phrase parent’s refer when an adult points out the childs eating habit’s, ‘he is a growing child,’ or when he gets a little older he will become more active and lose that. Older as in 10,16 when do they see it’s now, not later. Parent’s are the blame and the fault of any child being obese. Not only do they not love themselves they generate that same loathing self-pity into the child by feeding him/her the comfort food. Yep, nothing like wrapping your child up in some donut’s, twinkies and french fries just to soothe yourself.

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