I know I’m a little late on this one, lick my ass, I’ve been busy. Besides, I thought it would be good to wait until everybody was sobered up so you can actually comprehend this. I caught this story on Cinco De Mayo about high-school kids who were told to remove their American flag shirts and bandanas or be suspended. “They said we could wear it on any other day,” Daniel Galli said, “but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it’s supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today.” Is this guy kidding? Is this vice-principal so afraid of minorities that he felt the need de-America his school in fear of a revolucion? I suppose during Black History Month we should all have to wear a kufi. Or maybe on St. Patrick’s Day we should not be allowed to stay sober. Forcing somebody to recognize a holiday is almost as bad as bringing kids to church who are too young to think rationally.

Another student said the kids should apologize, and that “We don’t deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn’t do that on the Fourth of July.” I’ll remember that the next time I’m grilling out on the 4th and a car drives by with the Mexican flag strapped to the hood and mariachi music blaring from the system. Forget, for a moment, that this is the United States of America and not Mexico. Also forget for a second that the only apology that should to be made is one to all English-speaking Americans. I can’t even begin to imagine what incredible waste of time and resources are put into forcing us to learn Spanish (I can count the credits I’ve pissed away). When it’s mandatory for immigrants to learn English, I’ll wear a fucking Lucha Libre mask every Cinco de Mayo. I’m pointing out the fact that this Mexican-American student tried to make a connection between Cinco de Mayo and the 4th of July when they have nothing to fucking do with each other! If you don’t even know why “your day” is being celebrated, I’m not going to give a shit either. I’ve found out that most people who celebrate it have no clue as to why, and most Mexicans think Americans are idiotic for doing so, and they’re right.

“Cinco de Mayo” celebrates a Spanish victory over the French, not their independence. We have somehow been tricked into believing that this is the day on which we need to drink margaritas, shake maracas and go to Pepe’s. I would hope a school administrator might know that but I watch the news too often to put trust in pretty much anything. Silly me, where do I get off hoping somebody responsible for the education of children might crack open a history book in between bong hits? Did you know St. Patrick’s day is bullshit too? I’m sorry, but most of what we celebrate are made up Hallmark holidays to get you drunk and dump the change out of your pockets, it’s the American dream. If you need an excuse to drink and have fun, celebrate being American – if there’s one thing we do well in this country it’s clouding our judgement and doing something regrettable.

Shit, what’s that phrase you use after saying something that can be misconstrued as racist?… Oh yeah! “It’s OK, one of my best friends is Mexican.” (ask him! @hotfortacos)

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  1. Bill says:

    LOVE the Santa pic…

  2. D. Gonz says:

    that @hotfortacos guy sounds sexy! Raawwrrr!

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Nameless. Nameless said: LOL BRILLIANT! RT @RetortNation Cinco de Dumbass: http://wp.me/pP9DV-uC thanks to @hotfortacos for the assist […]

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