No offense, but go to hell

Posted: April 23, 2010 in Random thought
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m sure you’ve heard it, hell, you’ve probably said it more than once. It’s just another one of those phrases that usually leaves me shaking my head or doing a facepalm.

“No offense”, but (insert insult here). Oh, so beginning a sentence with ‘no offense’ means that anything following is in good fun? Well in THAT case, no offense, but you are a tremendous douche bag and I’ve hated you for as long as I can remember. Most days I think about ways I can make your life a living hell. Stings, doesn’t it? Now I’ll highlight a more practical scenario: “No offense, but you cooked these burgers too much.” Oh yeah? Well no offense, but I burned yours on purpose you self-important ass hat. Saying “no offense” before making a statement only accomplishes giving us warning that you’re about to say something that is going to piss us off. If that’s what you’re going for then kudos, jagoff, mission accomplished. If I know that the next words out of your mouth are going to make me want to punch you in the face, there’s a good chance I’m not going to pay much attention to what you say, and instead, just envision what you’d look like with a few teeth missing. If you have something to say then say it. Prefixing your sentence with some blase combination of words like ‘no offense’ just gives me a good gauge on how afraid you are to make your point you spineless piece of shit. No offense, but kiss my ass.

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