Warm weather: A blessing and a curse

Posted: April 5, 2010 in Whatever
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Summer is finally upon us, and that can mean something different for everybody. Here in the Midwest it means that we can put our windshield scrapers away, hang up our hoodies and start dressing like sluts again. The problem is that dressing down for warm weather is a mutually exclusive situation, but this is often ignored and the results are usually catastrophic. There are some people who can’t wait for it to warm up in order to flaunt the goods, some that yearn for sunshine to show off their hard work and a select few that love the rise in temperature because it gives them the opportunity, it seems, to make us all throw up. I loathe winter (arguably more than anybody in the history of mankind) but I have to admit it serves one special purpose. Hooded sweatshirts, while comfortable and warm, also provide a great deal of cover for those who desperately need it. Am I suggesting that the heavy-set population cover themselves in full garb year-round? Definitely not – nobody deserves to sweat or watch somebody else sweat that much. It’s called a t-shirt, and every summer we see that vital piece of clothing tossed aside for a smaller, tighter, more revealing article that always leaves us shaking our heads. What I’m getting at is the fact that there is a distinct line in the sand governing who should, and should not, be allowed to shake what their momma gave them.

You won’t see me sporting a tank top and short shorts this summer and I don’t expect any other tubby troublemaker to do so either. I know that I’m the only person who should be subjected to that grizzly visual and I expect others to hold themselves to the same standard. If it needs help staying in, chances are it’s not meant to be seen.

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