Turn MY music down?

Posted: April 3, 2010 in Whatever
Tags: , , , , ,

Now that the sun has made its way out, the snow is gone and the temperature has returned to above freezing letting my balls return to normal size, I can finally drive with my windows down. Recently I was on my way home when I came to a stop sign and was promptly aggravated. Like any other good citizen I rolled through it while flipping off the person who actually had the right-of-way, but it was what happened on my way towards the octagonal suggestion that pissed me off. To my right, on their front lawn, was a father and his daughter who was, I’m guessing, 10 years old. The old man and I made eye contact for a second before he furrowed his brow and made a motion with his hand as if he were turning a dial. I assumed he was trying to tell me to turn my music down so I put my hand to my ear Hulk Hogan style to symbolize “What?”. His mouth was moving but I couldn’t hear a damn word he said because I was pushing every limit my car speakers could handle. I would have turned it down, but I thought giving an emphatic smile and wave was much more entertaining. His dial movement turned into a middle finger and my wave turned into a thumbs up as I drove away.

The irony of the situation was that his daughter was wearing a Britney Spears t-shirt. The music I was listening to may have been aggressive and unpleasant to some, but the lyrics don’t encourage whoring around, having threesomes or riding on ‘disco sticks’. I found it funny that he got so offended by my music that he shuttled his daughter off to her room where she probably turned on Ke$ha’s hottest new track in which one of the main verses is “Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dick’s at”. I won’t even get into the fact that all of this new music is so god damn electronic that most of the morons who listen to it don’t even know what the fuck a guitar sounds like…. but I’ll save that for later. Point is, while my music may sound mean – it’s merely the method of delivery. If given the choice, I would much rather have my child listen to music that sends a message against oppression, political scandal or mental anguish than to bob their head to a bubbly track about blowing as many dudes as humanly possible. To illustrate my point, I’ll put a newborn baby in a fancy box with wonderful wrapping paper and a gorgeous bow on top. Sounds appalling doesn’t it? That’s essentially what’s happening. Distorted guitars with aggressive tones, or peppy happy beats screaming ‘teen pregnancy’? “But my daughter loves that song, besides, she doesn’t know what it means.” Well when little princess innocent comes home with battered pride and a giant cold sore, you’ll wish she had listened to Pantera instead. Maybe next time I will turn my music down, so you can actually hear to the slut smut your soon-to-be mom is listening to. Stop worrying about my music and go buy a car seat and some diapers – because that’s where you’re headed, grandpa.

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  1. Sam says:

    That’s funny as hell .. hopefully prince charming is ur neighbor so u 2 can have fun friendly encounters daily! lol maybe u’ll convert him to slipknot..

    • Nick says:

      not my neighbor but I’ll be diving by every day on my way home from work. I’ll have to start making sure I time out the loudest most aggressive parts of whatever song I’m listening to in order to make sure it plays right as I’m cruising by. I’ll smile and wave every day.

  2. James says:

    So true mate. Good call.

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