Is it in you?

Posted: February 24, 2010 in Whatever
Tags: , ,

Tiger’s old Gatorade ad has a slightly different meaning now doesn’t it? I’m sure I can go on for days with corny references to any poster ever printed – “What are you made of?”, “To accomplish more, sometimes you have to see less”, “Being a winner takes hard work and sweat”, “The road to performance isn’t always paved”…. yada yada yada. I’m positive it wouldn’t be hard to find a photo with his patented emphatic fist pump (I’ll resist). Problem is, I don’t give a shit about golf and I even give LESS of  a shit about how a millionaire golfer doinked every hosebag in the country. Unless Tiger is caught on the 18th hole during the PGA tour meeting with Al Qaeda discussing ways to outlaw the NFL I really couldn’t care less.

This whole situation was blown up to the point where I actually sympathize with Tiger. He is a millionaire athlete, the greatest of his sport and undoubtedly has women throwing themselves at him regularly. He’s just a man being a man right? Oh wait – he’s married? what an ass hat. Well in that case!!…. nope, still don’t give a shit. What he does (or doesn’t) do to his wife is of no concern to me. Maybe its my disinterest in golf as a whole, who knows – but there is just nothing exciting about hitting a ball as hard as you can and walking after it in scorching heat. Let’s not forget that somehow golf became the universal business sport. How in the hell did that happen? I’d do much better if I could take a client out for a nice game of tackle football. At least then I wouldn’t be left sweaty, hacking away at the rough while disappointing everybody (woops, there I go again).

Regardless of what happens with Tiger’s story I will most likely be glued to the TV to find out what happens next- because even if I wanted to change the channel to watch something else there he is – covered in Nike, reeking of money and hookers.

Even though the media has made it obvious that Tiger has nailed a hole in one (damn it, sorry that’s the last one I promise) with seemingly anything with legs, I’d like them to back off a bit. Wouldn’t you want Tiger to get his wife’s lambasting behind closed doors like the rest of us? For a person who has been 1 step ahead his entire life, it is probably the only ordinary thing he’ll ever have to endure.

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Comments
  1. ann sterzinger says:

    I’m in stitches. Damn, I’m envious; I basically wrote this exact same story on my blog, except it wasn’t nearly as funny…

    http://fineillstartagoddamnblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/two-things-you-should-shut-up-about.html

    Ha ha ha, “Unless Tiger is caught on the 18th hole during the PGA tour meeting with Al Qaeda discussing ways to outlaw the NFL I really couldn’t care less.”

    This is my new favorite blog!

  2. ann sterzinger says:

    PS yeah, I know, it’s tacky to advertise your own blog on someone else’s… I was too excited/retarded by our apparent mind-meld to mind my manners for the moment.

  3. ann sterzinger says:

    Note to self: quit being stupid.

  4. ann sterzinger says:

    (whew)

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